new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
