Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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