they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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