how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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