I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
