it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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