woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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