Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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