Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
zippers are such a cool invention
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
