weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
