Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
