Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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