my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
