So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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