I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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