At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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