i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize