It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
