i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
