I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize