I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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