i wish my penis had a tongue
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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