Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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