i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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