you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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