also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize