so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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