One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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