when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
