Please, let me fuck your mom
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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