I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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