Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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