all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
