well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
