he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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