hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
