If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
COCAINE IS GR8
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize