There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
