At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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