You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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