Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
