she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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