I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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