She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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