There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
