Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
