You're my little dorito
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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