Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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