yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
