Who wears a wallet chain?!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
