it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
