Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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