Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
third nipple confirmed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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