I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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