Sry I called you an 8
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
