Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
