did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
