Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
