Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
