I didn't shave. On purpose
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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