Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize