Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
