Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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