dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
