Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
