She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
