This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
