Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
