no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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