there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
