when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
