i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
